Once again, I’m handing over the controls to one of my writer friends. Ms. Erin Britt, author of the novel Celia, is not just a talented writer, she is also wickedly funny, a dear friend, and nearly as nuts as I am. We’ve decided that it’s a good thing we live several states apart from each other, because we just don’t think we could raise enough bail money as often as we might need it. She is the Thelma to my Louise – or maybe that’s the other way around. Either way, she’s awesome, and she is in the driver’s seat!
Charlie Goes to the Zoo
This past weekend, I took my pet corpse (Charlie) to the Ft. Wayne Children’s Zoo. If you’ve never taken a corpse on a field trip before, there are some things to keep in mind. First, rotting flesh makes the car ride down there unpleasant. Charlie had to ride back home in the trunk. I’m never getting that smell out of the upholstery. Second…well, ok. The rotting flesh smell is pretty much the only thing you need to worry about. Although, having some form of leash with a harness isn’t a bad thing to have around. We didn’t, so there’s that.
We got to the zoo, paid our admission (Charlie didn’t even get the senior discount. I mean, he’s dead. Work with me, here.), and walked through the entrance. Charlie lost his mind. Apparently, when I told him we were going to a children’s zoo, he though the children would be locked safely away in the exhibits. Instead, they were running amok and freaking him out. I won’t lie; I laughed.
We started off with the African exhibit. My favorites are the big cats, but Charlie liked the bat-eared fox the best.
He kept pointing at the fox’s ears and laughing. The bad news is this terrified the fox. The good news is it also terrified the surrounding children, so we had the exhibit to ourselves for a bit. When we got to the giraffe paddock, we learned we could buy lettuce and feed them. So, I bought us some lettuce and we coaxed one of the females over. She could wrap her tongue around the lettuce leaves and then pull them into her mouth. Only, when it was Charlie’s turn, she got part of his finger with it. Oops.
The next tour we took was through the Rainforest exhibits. We will never do this again. The exhibits were fantastic. The humidity made Charlie unfit to walk next to, though. As much as I would have liked to take more time in there, no. No, when next I explore the rainforest, it will be corpseless.
Our next stop was the farm. The cow wouldn’t let Charlie pet her, but the goats didn’t seem to mind him at all. They kept chewing on his clothes and chasing him around the goat yard. I finally got him away from the goats, but the children there kept shouting “Make him do it again!” So, I let the goats chase him for a few more minutes. Charlie was not amused.
He pouted his way over to the Australian exhibit. They had dingoes and wallabies. We got to walk through the kangaroo enclosure. Well, I walked and Charlie sulked. This is why I never take him anywhere.
The zoo was a fun trip and the best part was shoving Charlie in the trunk so I wouldn’t have to listen to him whine and smell him decompose all over my cloth seats.
To check out some of Erin’s more – ahem – serious work, click here!
Thanks for stopping by!