Guest Blog Excitement!

Today, I’m turning the reigns over to my friend and fellow author, Johnny Worthen! I want you all to play nicely, okay?

Let me start by saying that this guy is one of the few people on the planet who gets my sense of humor (which makes HIS planet of origin highly suspect!).  I recently began reading his upcoming novel BEATRYSEL, and while I’m only about half of the way in, I have been completely blown away from the writing style, the strength of the character development, and the excellent detail that is showcased in this work.

So here are a few enlightening and entertaining words from Mr. Worthen:

Writing with others – not for me.

When I was in college back when teachers wore mortarboard hats and robes and rode to school in chariots, I took a creative writing class billed as a “workshop.” That was my first taste of writing in groups, and I’m here to say, it was also my last.

I don’t write well with others.

I got an A in the class, that’s the kind of student I was – grubby grade groveling scholarship keeping academic whiz-kid, but I didn’t learn anything. No, that’s not true: I learned never to do that again.

Now don’t get me wrong, writing workshops are fine in some ways. Writers are by nature solitary creatures and a little bonhomie and community is a good thing – a necessary thing. It’s good to be exposed to others’ writing and helpful to hear what people think of yours.

Sometimes.

The experience I had in that class not only spoiled my attitude toward writing groups, but it actually put me off writing for over a decade.

It was a terror literary politics, subjective criticism and stupid people. One didn’t like the fact that I used four syllable words when a two syllable word would do, like “luminescent” versus “glowing.” Another thought my villain was too mean. Did I mention he was the villain? Another thought that I’d stolen their idea because being drunk was obviously a unique experience. Some criticized the font I printed my stories in – “serif fonts are out of style, don’t you know.” Others admitted they didn’t like science fiction and so wouldn’t read past the title. And of course, being in Utah, I had litanies against the use of foul language and adult situations. What the hell?

The professor had the idea to let the students grade their classmates’ work and arrive at a grade in that way. I was on scholarship, remember, a tight 3.7 or better GPA, and couldn’t afford the D- I was destined for after the first week. Luckily, by the second week, the instructor recognized where his shit ideas was heading – no one was going to pass his course. Nobody. After one student criticized another for having juvenile alliteration, that author turned around and found new faults in that student’s paper, dropping their B to a low D because “they didn’t get it.”

Yeah. I know, right?

The professor took grading back into his own hands, promising A’s to everyone who participated and handed in all the work – content and quality notwithstanding.

Of course the politics still went on and the widely different levels of literary tastes and experience. I remember spending days trying to dumb down a two page story so the visiting exchange student from Longbortistan could understand the aquatic imagery. She never did.

When I turned to writing again, I knew to stay away from groups. I’d been there. Writing is a solitary event. There’ll be time enough for criticism when agents, editors and publishers have it – time enough and plenty enough. At least with them, I know they want my work to succeed, a different mindset entirely from my earlier experience.

I’d never have been able to write my debut BEATRYSEL in that environment. It’s too rough, the language too adult, the situations too disturbing, the language and verb-play too unusual, the use of epigraphs too outdated. The font too “fonty.”

I write. I write a lot, but I admit, I don’t write well with others.

Let’s all put our hands together for Mr. Worthen! Believe me, you can look forward to hearing more from this exceedingly talented guy! And check out BEATRYSEL at all your favorite book and ebook places!  Johnny is a pretty awesome individual, and you can find out more about him here:  http://www.johnnyworthen.com/

A Brick Wall at 60 Miles an Hour

Welcome to Writer’s Block – again.

I seem to go through this periodically. Sometimes it’s stress related, sometimes not. Stress doesn’t always trigger it, but sometimes it does.

But first, an explanation:

I’ve been trying to finish the revisions on my novel The Deepest Blue (set to come out in the fall of this year). I had every intention of getting it done before the end of the year, but the last two months of 2012 were just a hair shy of total insanity. I left a job I’d only been at for six months to take a job that lasted only two weeks. I didn’t know it was only going to last two weeks, but then I also didn’t know I’d been hired by crazy people. I also moved – which is a long and complex story that doesn’t really need to be given detail other than to say “I HATE MOVING!” Then, of course, the holidays were upon us, accompanied by frequent calls and visits to the unemployment office.  I kept working on the revisions, but I was moving at a pace that would embarrass a garden slug.

I swore, though, that in the new year (being as I was unemployed), I would get the revisions done.

And then I became blocked.

There were a number of factors that went into causing this block. It took time to identify them, but it’s important to know what triggers a block so you can be more alert to potential blockages in the future! (It’s sort of like paying attention when your drain starts to run slow – better to clean out a small clump of gunk than to have a plumbing crisis on your hands.)

The first thing that contributed to the conundrum was putting deadlines on myself that might not have been reasonable given my circumstances. Moving, changing jobs, holidays, and dealing with government inefficiency all take a toll on one’s psyche. They drain away energy from where it is more useful and better served. Then there was the internal conflict I had over a scene that my editor wanted moved, changed, or deleted. I felt very strongly about the scene and it’s placement. I seriously agonized over how to please my editor while staying true to what I believed was necessary for the story. I rewrote the scene five or six times, and each time I felt it got worse. Enter contributor number three – the hyper-critical internal editor. Nothing pleases this chick! If I had to describe her, she would be six feet tall with long, straight, black hair, and fingernails that look like talons. She sneers, she gives exasperated sighs, and she says things like “That is the stupidest thing I think you’ve ever written. What were you even thinking? OH – I know – you weren’t thinking.” She’s a sarcastic wench, and she makes me doubt my ability to create (despite having six published books under my belt). At one point, I was so frustrated by this internal editor (which, YES – I KNOW – it’s my own self doubt and criticism. Sheesh, I’m not schizophrenic!) that I was about to call my editor in tears and tell her I’d pay back my advance because I just couldn’t write anymore.

It’s obvious NOW (of course, hindsight being 20/20) that my whole blockage was really self-inflicted, but in the midst of it, it felt like hitting a brick wall in your car going 60 miles an hour.

Everything came to abrupt halt. Just the thought of sitting at my computer to try to revise would make me nauseous. I’ve gone through bouts of writer’s block a few times – which is really the Universe’s way of punishing me for saying once (a very long time ago) that there was no such thing as writer’s block – it was just a lazy writer’s excuse. Yeah – that’ll learn me.

Thank the heavens for wise friends who know just what to say and just when to say it. I was expressing my frustration and telling a friend of mine that I just didn’t have what it takes anymore. I told her that I felt like I was a fraud by telling people I was a writer. She gave me a very kind smile and said, “Your thinking that you are a fraud is insecurity. Insecurity is a character defect, and underlying every character defect is fear.” She looked me in the eye and asked, “So, what are you afraid of?”

Before I could even think about it, the words fell out of my brain, into my mouth, and out into the open. “I’m afraid of disappointing people.”

Yeah – I’m a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me. I don’t want to make anyone upset at me and I felt like I was letting my editor down, letting my writing friends down (the ones who offered to help with the read-through), and letting everyone I’d ever told about this upcoming book down. That fear of disappointing people nearly paralyzed me.

Then I said, “I’m afraid it won’t be perfect.”

Whoa – that caught me by surprise. This book is still going through revisions. It isn’t meant to be perfect. It will never be “perfect” in the sense that no one anywhere will be able to find fault with it. I remember hearing Jane Yolen speak at a conference and talking about how there are scenes in her book “The Devil’s Arithmetic” that she would still go back and revise – and this book won all kinds of awards! I realized that I was trying to achieve a finished product, but it isn’t time yet.

I meditated a long time on what this friend had said and what my answers had been. In the mean time, I also started a new full-time job (also quite stressful), but while I was sitting at my desk at work, inputting numbers into a database (not real stressful), the solution to the block arrived. I almost couldn’t get through the rest of my day because I was so eager to get home and write! That was a magnificent feeling. I sat down, I dug in, and I solved the problem. I found a happy compromise for the scene my editor wanted changed and I didn’t (well, the scene isn’t happy, but resolving where to put it was). I got through the remaining chapters, and I sent the entire manuscript off to my wonderful editor before my self-imposed deadline of the end of the month!

Lessons learned? Um – many. First, I am terribly hard on myself, and I need to learn to just let it flow. Writing “Beautiful Monster” happened during one of the most stressful times in my life, but that story flowed because I allowed myself to admit there would be issues and errors, and I could go back and fix them later.  Second, I need to address my frustrations earlier. I do a lot of “I’m not blocked, I’m not blocked, I’m not blocked, OH CRUD! I’m blocked!” Backing off sooner, removing obstacles when they are small instead of when I’ve made them into demons – this is the better way. Finally – remember who you’re writing for. It’s not an editor, it’s not an audience. I’m writing for me. This is – and always has been – my passion. I do this for my soul and for no other reason. I’m going to make a sign that says exactly that and hang it right behind my computer.

Sigh.

Beta Readers, Editors, and the Craft of Revision

I started writing my YA novel, “The Deepest Blue”, nearly six years ago. I knew the story and was excited about tackling a story that was more of a challenge. The main character’s father dies and it is a shock to the main character and to the readers (or at least I hope so). Then, early into the first draft, my own dad died, and I just couldn’t go back to this book. It sat for several years until my friend and writing partner Jared urged me to pick it up again and finish it.  I did get it done, and started submitting, but all the rejections said the same thing: the market is too soft for a book like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I let the story languish on a thumb drive, figuring I’d get back to it eventually. I wrote another novel and began submitting it instead. Then a year and a half after rejecting it, my editor at Tanglewood asked about The Deepest Blue. “Where is it? Have you sold it?”

“No,” I told her, “it’s on my computer.”

“I want it,” she said. That was December of 2011. She said it would be a Fall of 2013 release, so we had lots of time to work on revisions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This book had already been through several revisions, and Jared had read it and given me his input. But my editor wanted to give it to a reader in the target audience and let him comment as well. We sent it off to him after the new year, then I waited for him to finish and give comments. Unfortunately, this kid dropped off the face of the earth.

Not to worry, though! My editor had another young man who was eager to be a reader for us. Early this summer, I got his comments (hand written on a sheet of yellow note paper!) and he offered some wonderful insights for me. I think I’m a pretty good writer, and I have a good ear for dialog and for shaping the plot of a novel. However, I have never been a 15-year-old boy, and that was clear in some of my passages.  I worked through the story again with this young man’s comments, and I also got Jared to go through it with me and offer his own masculine perspective.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I finished the revisions in August and sent the newly crafted story back to my editor.  She sent me wonderful, uplifting comments about the changes and the new strength in the story, and then told me she would get to work on her own revisions right away.

I got those revisions last night – and I am so grateful to have such an amazing editor! We talked about adjusting the tone in the beginning of the story, about deepening the emotional impact, and about pushing the envelope in ways that I hadn’t quite envisioned. And this is the benefit of a professional editor. My self-published friends will not like this, but the fact is that without a quality editor to work on your story, you may not see the things that take a story to the next level. Beta readers are also crucial to this process. My writing partner and the young man who read the story this spring both gave me needed insights into the male mind that I couldn’t have had on my own because, quite simply, I’m not a guy! They helped me to push the story to a more realistic level, giving it an authenticity that I couldn’t have achieved on my own. This, in turn, opened the door for my editor to dig even deeper and develop the story to a point that – in her own words – will allow her to submit this book for awards.  If that isn’t music to a writer’s ears, I’m not certain what is!

I don’t honestly know how many revisions this book has been through. I know it’s a lot – but that’s sort of the writing part of writing, if you ask me. Being willing to let others tear into your story and offer you suggestions is an important and valuable step in the whole process. I’m regularly stunned by writers who don’t want anyone to touch their work for fear it won’t remain true to their glorious original concept.  Frankly, I don’t know what I’d do without Jared and my many beta reader friends who offer insight into my work from a reader’s perspective. 

Someone asked me if I was sick of this story yet, and my answer is “yes and no.” Yes, I think I could recite the whole book front to back from memory, and that begins to wear on me. No, because each round of revision is a chance to look deeper into what I’ve created and to try to add meaning and depth to the story. I want to get better with each story I write, so if there are folks who want to help me achieve that, then I welcome their input. Hopefully, I can repay their kindnesses.

Finally! It is HERE!

My writing partner, Jared Anderson, and I have been anticipating the release of our book Beautiful Monster, and it is finally here! What follows is a conversation we had concerning the book, the process of writing it, and what it meant to us as writers and as friends. ENJOY!

MIMI: It’s HERE!!! Can you believe it? How long have we talked about this book becoming a reality? I’m so excited that I’ve been doing the happy dance for weeks!

 JARED: Me too. And it happened a lot faster than I thought it would.

 MIMI: One of the most amazing parts of this book – to me, anyway – is that we finished it at all. There was so much personal chaos for both of us at that time that I seriously doubted we would get it done. I remember sitting in your office, writing that last chapter, while you were packing boxes around me and taking things out to the moving truck. It was kind of surreal.

 JARED: It definitely wasn’t easy, but you have to admit, we did pretty good. We didn’t get into any serious fights!

 MIMI: I think I only threatened to strangle you once. Okay, maybe twice.

 JARED: Ha ha. But you never did.

 So for those who don’t know, Beautiful Monster is the book we’re talking about. It was accepted for publication by Damnation Books a few months ago, and today it is officially released. Mimi and I started talking about writing this book almost two years ago, when she was mentoring me on my first novel, The White Room. We found that we had an almost magical synergy when it came to writing, and when she suggested we collaborate on a novel, I was all for it.

 MIMI: Ha ha! I thought you suggested it! Oh well – not that it matters now!

 JARED: Beautiful Monster is a story about a serial killer and his victim. We wanted to capture both sides of the predator/prey scenario, so we wrote it in alternating chapters, Mimi writing from the victim’s point-of-view, and I took the serial killer’s side of the story. It was a lot of fun and we’re pretty proud of it.

 MIMI: Initially, I wanted to write a story about a kidnapper and a victim who develops something like Stockholm Syndrome -but she actually falls in love with her captor. Jared talked me out of that when he suggested we make it about a serial killer instead. My character pretends to be in love with her captor as a way of staying alive. But Jared’s character is bonkers – that’s a technical psychological term I think.

 JARED: He is bonkers, and I am nothing like him… by the way! Sterling, my character, becomes more interested in Brenna, Mimi’s character, as the story deepens, when he learns that she possesses a virtue he’s never been able to take from anyone else before: virginity.

 MIMI: Brenna is kind of naive. I was really naive at her age, too. But she has a good heart. She is a genuinely kind person who wants to do the right thing. One of the most fun – and most frustrating things – about writing this books, was knowing all the rotten things Jared had planned for his character to put my character through. It was a challenge because I couldn’t allow the character to know, and I really did want to warn her and keep her safe!

 JARED: Planning out all the horrible evil things to do to Brenna was a little unnerving at times for me, too. I really like Brenna, so some of the stuff Sterling does to her was pretty horrible for me to write about. Mimi, what would you say is your favorite scene in this book?

 MIMI: For as terrible as this will sound, one of my favorite scenes is when Brenna confesses to Sterling that she is a virgin. She is so vulnerable, and so strong at the same time. The reader knows this guy is scum, but her heart is golden in that moment and she is willing to risk his ridicule to be true to herself.  What I want to know, given all the horrible stuff Sterling does, is what was the hardest (or one of the hardest) scenes for you to write?

 JARED: I would have to say the hardest part to write for me was when he took his first victim to up to “the gallery.” I had no idea how corpses “behave” in real life, and that’s where our friend, the mortician, really helped me out. I had a hard time learning all the facts about death, because, I think, it’s human nature to not want to look at death that closely. I was disturbed by a lot of the things I learned from the mortician. So, the hardest part for me was becoming intimate with death and the process of dying, and then turning around and trying to put it on the page in a believable way. I think that the knowledge I gained from that experience also has a silver lining, though. I was relieved to learn that the actual act of dying (excepting violent circumstances) is not necessarily an unpleasant thing. What about you? What would you say is one of the most significant things you’ve taken away with you as a result of writing this book?

MIMI: One of the most significant things about writing this book for me was that, through the entire process, I was able to do something that I normally do by myself, share the process with someone else, and come out of it in the end not only remaining friends, but actually with a better friendship than when we started. There were some scenes in this book which, if I’d had to write them alone, might have been enough for me to just stop writing. The support of my writing partner and friend – you – made getting through some of those more difficult scenes bearable.  At times when I wanted to hold back and not remain true to the emotional elements of the story and the character, you wouldn’t let me slack. There were moments that were downright brutal, but I think this book is better because you pushed me, and I think I’m a better writer as a result of that.  So tell me what you will remember most about writing this book.

 JARED:  I’ll remember the way the story developed. It’s interesting to think back to the beginning ideas for this book and realize how far it’s come since then. I’ll remember those times the character just kind of sprouted wings and started telling the story themselves. I’ll remember how interesting it is that, even when you have an outline, the story kind of takes off on its own and develops itself. That’s almost a kind of magic to me. It’s fascinating. What about you? What do you think is the most fascinating aspect of this story? Was there anything about it that was somewhat magical for you?

MIMI: A lot of it was magical! I can remember thinking about a scene, wanting to include something, and you would call me up and say, “Hey, what if we did this?” and we would have exactly the same idea! That was weird, but fun! It was interesting, too, the way the characters would cross from one writer to another – I would write a scene with Sterling and you would tell me that it was exactly how you would have written it, or you would write a scene with Brenna and the dialog would be spot-on!  So what did it feel like to you when we read those last pages that I wrote at the last minute right before the big move? As we sat out on the patio at your new place and finished the read-through – how did you feel?

JARED: There was a lot going on at that time and I think I overlooked a lot of obvious flaws with the story because of that. As far as how I felt about reading the final product, there’s always something really intense about that. On one hand, you’re ecstatic because it’s finally finished. On the other hand, you’re sad because you know it’s over.

To be honest, it took me a long time to fall in love with this story. For one thing, I didn’t think it was marketable, so I never let myself get too attached. I thought it was too violent and too borderline-pornographic to ever get picked up. Also, I hated Sterling. It wasn’t until the Fiend showed up several chapters into the story that I began to understand him and was able to sympathize with him, but the whole time I was writing the book, I worried that I may never love this story.

 The day we read it beginning to end was the day I learned my fears were empty. I realized I did love the story that day, and that I actually had loved it for a long time. As we finished the book, I also remember thinking, this is one of those memories in motion, and I knew I would never forget it.

What part of this story, or the process of writing it, did you like the least?

MIMI: I hated writing the rape scenes. They were brutal on me emotionally, and the first couple of attempts were weak and ineffective because I was so afraid to go into the scenes with real, genuine emotion. I hated, too, that you would call me out on those scenes and make me face them as a writer. Those chapters were tough, but I think ultimately, they are real. Readers might be offended – and I hope they are. It’s an offensive subject, but it’s very real for many women, and I was just as honest as I could be about that most horrible experience. I hope it rattles the cages of some readers and helps them to build a little empathy for anyone – male or female – who has been sexually assaulted.

 So what are you most looking forward to now that this book is a reality?

 JARED: The thing I am most looking forward to, now that the book is out, is to, in a sense, move on to other things. I love this book, don’t get me wrong. But I’m excited about some other projects I’m working on, and I am looking very forward to being able to put my focus on them. I have many more stories to tell, and they need to get told now. Beautiful Monster has been the point of focus in my life for almost two years now, and I’m eager to let it go into the world and do its own thing now. That last round of revisions was a far sweeter thing than it was bitter. There was a sadness that we were finished, yes, but I was ready to be done and that eclipsed the sense of finality for me.

That being said, I still feel a strong sense of this story not being entirely finished. This book is finished, but the story as a whole seems unfinished. You and I have talked about writing a sequel, and possibly, a third installment. Now that we’ve seen Beautiful Monster to this point, how do you feel about a sequel (or a trilogy) now?

 MIMI: Honestly, I agree. I don’t think this story is over, and we did leave the ending just vague enough to invite that opportunity. I didn’t think I’d ever want to go back to these characters, but now that I haven’t lived with them 24/7 for a while, I think I’m ready to look at a second, and even a third book.

So, my friend, any last thoughts as we launch this baby out into the world?

 JARED: All I have to say is that it’s been a pleasure. This has been a dream come true for me, despite a few small nightmares along the way. Overall, it’s been an incredible experience, and I’m excited about the future. I’m grateful that someone believed in us enough to give us a chance. We worked very hard for this.

 MIMI: We did work hard, and I am also very thankful that Damnation Books was willing to take a chance on us. For as surreal as some parts of this journey have been, I think it has all been worthwhile – so much so that I think we should do it again! Are you ready?

 JARED: I am ready!

Beautiful Monster from Damnation Books (www.damnationbooks.com)

Available for Nook and Kindle through Amazon.com, B&N.com and other eBook retailers.

eBook ISBN: 9781615727742

Print ISBN: 9781615727759

Paying it Forward

It isn’t a new concept. The movie with Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt came out in 2000, so we’ve all heard the phrase, and we’ve probably all thought it was a great concept – but how does one pay it forward? Well, I can’t address this for everyone, so let me speak to it from my own experience as it relates to writing.

The first big writing conference I ever attended was the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators summer conference in Los Angeles, CA. in 1996. I had been writing and submitting for years, but was getting nowhere. I’d had some success writing nonfiction on the internet search site CitySearch, but my stories were stuck.  I’d been suckered by a vanity press, and I’d almost decided to give up when I learned about the organization, met the Regional Advisor, and began attending workshops. It was through this organization I came to know my first mentor, and very dear friend, Carol Lynch Williams. At that point, she had something like 15 books published, and to me, she was a goddess of children’s writing.

At the conference, Carol and I discovered a mutual quirky sense of humor, and a sincere desire to become more effective and successful writers. Carol invited me to attend a writing group in her home, and we became fast friends.  During the conference, I was able to hear from writers such as Bruce Coville, Jane Yolen, and E.L. Konigsburg: some of the biggest names in children’s literature in the past 20+ years!

Each of these speakers was eloquent, helpful, and very generous in giving advice and time to those of us who were new. In a fortunate turn of circumstances, I was actually seated with Ms. Yolen alone for about 20 minutes and was able to talk with her uninterrupted. Her kindness, warmth, and patience with what I know now and  acknowledge were stupid questions was certainly beyond the call of duty, but she was tolerant beyond measure with me. Later, when she spoke at another even I attended, I learned why. Ms. Yolen has long-held the belief that paying it forward is the only proper way to conduct yourself.  You can’t pay back those who’ve helped you. What could I possible teach to a woman who’s won more literary awards than I have fingers and toes to count them on? So this became my mission: as I learned, I shared. As I progressed, I helped to bring someone else along, too. Carol mentored me, and we continue to stay in touch even today. I began to mentor others through classes, writing groups, and individually.

But there are downfalls to doing this. There are those who don’t really want to learn. What they want is for you to give them the shortcut to success. They want the name of your agent, your publisher, and a good word from you to guarantee that their work will make it to publication with the effort and time that everyone else has put in.  There are those, too, who don’t really want your comments, your feedback, or your help. They want you to tell them how outstanding their work already is, even if it violates every law of grammar, punctuation, and acceptable standards for the genre in which they are writing. I’ve been asked for help by would-be writers, only to have them turn around and call me names and insult me. I’ve had them ask for my input, and because they didn’t like what I said, they’ve publicly flogged me through email, on blogs, and to others in the writing community.

But I’ve had some very positive experiences, too. Several writers who are former students of mine have gone on to become very successful writers themselves. Anne Bowen and Becky Hall are both former students and now friends who have been multiply published – and not because of me. Because they are hardworking and committed writers, and I was just in the right place at the right time to provide some encouragement and some insight.  My wonderful friend and writing partner Jared Anderson is on the brink of success – so close we can both taste it. I’ve worked with him for a few years as a mentor, but now more as a co-writer and friend. When he achieves success – and it is inevitable because he is so good – it won’t be because of me. It will be because he listened and applied what he learned, and he improve his craft. But I can take great pride in having offered just a little help to each of these writers, and they in turn are paying it forward to others.

This is how writing improves, excellent books get written, and new writers are encouraged to bring their voices out into the open. I have long practiced, and long believed in the power of paying it forward, and I hope that those whom I’ve touched, whether they are writers or not, will see the value to themselves in doing the same.  PIF on, my friends!

A Brief Rant

I’m probably going to irritate a few people again – but hey, everybody’s got to have a hobby, right?

This topic keeps coming up, coming up, and coming up and I haven’t really said anything about it for a while, but I need to vent my spleen a bit.

Self publishing.

Let me start by saying I think there are limited reasons to do it, and it can be a worthwhile endeavor. If Grandma Essie wants to record her life story for posterity, then printing a few dozen copies for the kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, and the occasional neighbor is not a bad way to go.

If Winona Writer wants to get her cutting-edge, dystopic, romance knock-off of Robin Hood published, but she isn’t willing to work hard at becoming a better writer, going through the traditional process, that doesn’t mean self-publishing is her better alternative. But this is what seems to be happening these days. Pretty much if you know how to use a word processing program and you have access to the internet, you can sling about anything onto a page (or into a file, as the case may be), pay a few dollars (or a few hundred, or a few thousand) and – VOILA! – you’re a writer!

Here’s the problem with this scenario: quality. I’ve recently had the – well, pleasure isn’t the word I’d use – let’s go with opportunity, to read several self-published works. Some were just bits and pieces, others were entire books given to me (I wouldn’t pay for this stuff – and trust me, you shouldn’t either). Some were local writers, some were writers whom I have no idea where they hail from. But they share one very crucial element in common: every single one of them would have benefitted by the advice of a half-decent editor. And herein lies the problem with self publishing. There are no editors to critique and help polish the work when a writer chooses self publishing. There is no one there to point out grammatical errors, to identify character inconsistencies, to suggest alternatives to redundant passages, or to frankly point out the plot holes.

In all of the pieces I read, at least two of these issues – and more in many cases – existed in the stories.  In one particular case, the writer indicated that his/her critique group had helped immensely with the manuscript. Upon further investigation, it turns out that the other group members are also self published, and either didn’t think to look for some of these issues, or didn’t know to look for them.  But even the sharpest critique group won’t be able to address many of the elements that a true, professional editor can – such as emerging trends or changes in publishing industry standards. Here’s a real-life “for instance” on that: a manuscript of mine that is currently sitting dormant was reviewed by my editor. While she loved the story and the concept, she indicated to me that the market was too soft for that type of story. She offered some suggestions for changes, but at the time I wasn’t willing to make them (that’s another whole story for another blog).  My critique group read the same novel and said they thought it was ready to go and it would have no trouble finding a home.

Now, if I wanted to, I could take that book and self publish it. All the self-publishing companies tout how much more money you can make than with a traditional publisher, and especially if there is an agent involved. However, self-published writers quickly discover that they are on their own for marketing and distribution. They have to become the sales staff, the marketing department, the PR department, the warehouse and distribution center, and all of this (with limited exception) is on the writer’s credit card.

On the flip side – I attended Book Expo America in Washington, D.C. when my novel came out.  I didn’t have to pay a dime to be there. I went to school visits and book signings in Ashville, North Carolina and all I paid for was one dinner and my rental car. I’ve done dozens of local book signings, I’ve done radio, newspaper, and internet interviews and I never had to make one phone call to set any of them up – they all came to me, and most of them came by way of my publisher. Yes – I do things to promote my books.  I have my own website, I keep my blog going, I talk about my books whenever possible, but it isn’t my full-time job.  I actually know one writer whose entire car is a mobile billboard for the book he/she wrote. It cost thousands of dollars to have that done, too.

Of the self-published work I’ve read recently, not one piece held my interest past the first few paragraphs. In the case of one book, I kept laughing out loud, even though the book itself was deadly serious. I am certain there are well-written self-published books out there, but the truth is, I have yet to see one.

I’m sure there are at least a few people who will point to my publishing history and say that if I had considered self publishing, I’d have a few more books out. I look at it this way – publishing is a matter of getting the right book in the right hands at the right time. Things will line up again, and sooner rather than later, so I have no reason to consider anything but the traditional route that I’ve taken before. It’s worth it to me to wait for the right set of circumstances to be assured that I’m going to have a quality product that is handled with professionalism.

That is all.

Nasty Habits

There are many nasty habits in the world . . .

. . . I am guilty of one – but I couldn’t find a picture for it.  I call it “justified procrastination.”

Everyone I know leads a busy life. Not once have I heard one of my friends or family members say, “You know, I really just don’t have enough to do, and I’m very frequently bored.” Even with my unemployment woes of the past six months, I have kept myself entertained and active with a variety of projects, activities, job hunting, writing, babysitting, and more. But recently, I’ve found that I’m falling into an old, nasty habit – justified procrastination. Let me explain.

JP happens when there is something you know you need to do, but you easily justify putting it off to another time.  For example, I knew last week I needed to get a new chapter written in my YA novel because of my upcoming critique group session. There were a few times I actually did sit down and work on it, but then I managed to find other projects that need immediate attention. I justified switching to these diversions by saying, “Well, if I don’t work on it right now, I can work on it tonight. Or if not tonight, I have all day tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, there is the weekend.” Effectively, what I’ve done is to create the illusion of having a lot of time available to me, and then filling that time with other tasks and activities because – well – I have so much time! Then I discover that it is Sunday night, I’ve only written three pages of an entire chapter, and critique group is tomorrow.

I will say this – my house is clean, my laundry is done, I’ve read a great deal, I’ve applied for a bazillion jobs, and I’m a very productive little bee. I just haven’t written as much as I should.

My darling writing partner does this, too (sorry J – calling you out!). He has taught me to add new kinds of justification to my bad habit, such as saying that, “When I find a job, I’ll have a better routine, and then I can be more productive at writing.” The fact is – and we both know it! – we need to build the routine first, then we can adapt it later.

I have to say that I am astounded at myself. NEVER in my life has laundry been more important than anything, and especially not my writing! This procrastinating thing has become a sort of mental illness with me. When I believe that taking out a half-full garbage bag is more urgent than writing, something must be terribly wrong! I’ve gone through cycles of putting-off-writing before, and I know what the end result is: it isn’t good.

So officially – I am breaking the habit starting today. I am dedicating a minimum of 30 minutes a day to writing. I will not go to bed until it is done. I will take my computer with me to bed if I have to in order to accommodate that. If all I manage to do is write those 30 minutes a day, I would have 3 1/2 hours by the end of the week.  I can make a lot of progress in that much time. But I know for a fact that writing is as much a habit as anything else, and once I start back into a system for doing it, I won’t be satisfied with stopping at 3 1/2 hours a week. This novel (currently titled Death Kiss) will be finished by the end of the year, and it will be ready for critique sessions throughout the process. Yes, I’ve slipped, so it’s time to get back up and move forward again.

No more justification – it’s just time to get it moving in the right direction again.

Shifting Gears

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m having difficulty shifting gears.

I just finished revisions on a dystopic YA novel tentatively called “The Afterward” in which a 16-year-old girl survives the collapse of the American government and the start of the second civil war. I also just finished the first draft of the book I wrote with my writing partner Jared. It’s previous title, “An Evil Heart” has been changed to “Gallery of Dolls” which better fits the story line. In this one, I wrote the character of a 23-year-old college student who becomes the only surviving victim of a serial killer.  I started working on revisions this weekend.

Here’s where I’m running into problems: I started a new novel, currently titled “Death Kiss”, where a 17-year-old girl has seen the face of Death and is now obsessed with finding him. She is smart, but not as sweet as the Nia, the protagonist in “The Afterward” and she is not as adult as Brenna, the 23-year-old. But somehow, both of their voices are leaking over. Layna is the character from “Death Kiss” and she is struggling to find her own personality. She knows who she is (as d o I), and she’s been in the works for quite some time. But it is proving to be a challenge to shift gears between these three very important individuals. There is a lot of grinding and groaning going on.

It’s really irritating.

And it makes for a lot of rewriting very early in the writing process.

I don’t want to be one of those writers who allow all their characters to become so homogenous that they sound alike, think alike, and the only differentiation is hair color or height. As much as I love Dean Koontz, all his child characters sound alike and behave alike. It’s disappointing. There are other writers, famous and not-so, who make this same mistake with characters of all ages. It says to me that the writer is building a character to be the writer’s own mouthpiece rather than to tell an interesting story. I don’t want to be guilty of that. I also don’t want to be in any of my own books. My ego just isn’t that big.

There are a lot of valid (and not so valid) reasons as to why this is happening. Like I mentioned previously, my chaos level has been at maximum for the last three or four months, and that is making it harder to focus. My closest friend and writing companion abandoned me (yeah, I said it – abandoned! Okay, I smiled when I said it), and I’m still getting used to not having that person around on a daily basis. There are a lot of other factors that, to varying degrees, are getting in my head and keeping me from really being in the head of my character, but all of that boils down to just excuses. I don’t have writer’s block, I’m not stuck, so it’s time to take the dragon by the tail and get to work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I’ve decided to do something I haven’t done in a while, but something I’ve often given to my students as an assignment: I’m having Layna write me a letter and tell me about herself, about her situation, and about how she thinks this ought to be resolved. I’ll allow her the free expression and hopefully catch her voice more effectively.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have some other little tricks I can try, too, if that doesn’t work. For example, I intend to interview Layna about her history so I can know even more about her.  I plan to interview other characters in the book about their relationship with Layna.  Hopefully, all of this will solidify her as a person in my mind, and I won’t see bits of Nia or Brenna filtering through.

I have tons of resources at my disposal, I have wonderful writers who are always willing to give feedback and make suggestions. And as the old cliché goes, “This too shall pass.” Before I realize it, I’ll be head-long into this story and aggressively trying to make my self-imposed deadlines. Naturally, I’ll post my progress here.

The Element of Voice; or Convincing Your Family You’re Crazy

There are few things in writing more difficult to achieve or more difficult to explain than voice. Each character in a story needs to sound like an authentic, original individual. The bigger role that character has, the more important it is that this character sounds like a believable person. Creating voice is critical to the identity of the character, but typically, we writers rely on the language that is most comfortable to us, and that means characters can become generic variations of each other – and of us.

There are hundreds of books and articles on creating authentic voice, and they offer fabulous suggestions on dialect, speech patterns, and other valuable aspects, but few of them talk about listening to the character.  Herein lies the part about seeming crazy to family and friends.  Many writers, myself included, listen to their characters and have meaningful conversations with them. My writing partner Jared and I have had this very conversation – more than once.

I find it very useful to talk to my characters. I ask them questions, I find out about who they are, and I listen to the way they put words together. Diction and syntax are key components in language. Diction is the specific words that someone uses, and syntax is the order that those words are used in. Everyone has their own unique method of organizing words and phrases; we have colloquialisms, and catch phrases, and  idiosyncrasies that make us sound like us.  For example, Jared has a habit of saying, “I know, huh?” where I would say something like “No kidding.” If something is “cool” to Jared, it is probably “groovy” to me.

Language differences have a lot to do with background, ethnicity, age, gender, and residence. My friends from Vermont don’t speak the same as my cousins from North Carolina.  My father-in-law was from Southern Utah and he had an entirely different style of speaking than my mother-in-law who grew up in Salt Lake. One of the things I find helpful is listening to the ways that other people use language. I love hearing words combined in unique ways, ways that I wouldn’t necessarily think of. One of my favorite writes, Christopher Moore, is a master of this.  This guy knows how to curse and insult people in ways that no other person could conceive of.

Interviewing characters can not only give you an idea of who this person is, but also of how he or she should sound when you write his or her dialog.  How does your character mix words? What inflection does the character add to sentences? What words are favorites of this character? Does the character have a unique way of structure a sentence? For example, Yoda from Star Wars speaks in inverted sentences, where the subject comes after the object. “Help you, I will.”  Does your character use short sentences? Long ones? A mix?  This interviewing has more than once caused my family to question both my profession and sanity. My interviews are sometimes done in long stretches of silence, but sometimes they are done aloud, and I sit quietly after I ask the question as I listen for the answer. I enjoy talking to my characters, and I learn a great deal more about the story by doing this.

It’s also important to note what your character wouldn’t do.  For example (Sorry Jared), a 24-year-old  man who recently lost his mother and suspects his best friend is in some trouble, is not going to use a word like “a-twirl” i his sentence. I’m guilty, too. My character, a 23-year-old woman who works with kids was constantly referring to “an ache in her chest” when she felt emotion.  A character who works in a psychology setting should have a much better vocabulary for describing emotional responses.

Cultivating a character’s voice takes time and practice. A lot of little bumps can be ironed out in revision, and with the help of someone willing to do a thorough reading of your work. I’m fortunate to have Jared and other friends (Carol Lynch Williams, Louise Plummer, and Kerry Spencer to be specific), who are willing to look over a manuscript and to look for issues like voice.  Having someone else to “listen” to your characters with fresh ears helps to strengthen the story and make your characters more believable. Having your family think you’re a wee bit cracked is a small price to pay when compared to having readers say they would recognize your characters walking down the street.

Creative Exploration

When I was in the 5th grade, Mr. Sharp – my teacher – was trying to get me to understand the concept of shadow.  It confused me. In my mind, shadow and reflection were reversed.  I don’t know why, but that’s what happened in my brain. We were supposed to draw a picture of an object, a light source, and the associated shadow.  I drew a willow tree (my favorite) with the sun in the upper right corner. Sadly, I drew the shadow falling in front of the tree to the right (reflection) rather than behind it to the left (shadow).  I turned in what I thought was an awesome artistic rendering.

Mr. Sharp held up each picture in front of the class and commented on it, then hung it on the wall with a grade.  When he got to my picture (and I’m not making this up), he said something about the ridiculousness of the mistake, and he tore my picture to shreds in front of the class. I was embarrassed and devastated.  In an attempt to redeem myself and my grade, I drew another picture. This time I drew a turtle with the sun directly overhead and a shadow directly underneath.  I turned it in and hoped I’d get a decent grade. Instead, Mr. Sharp put a large, red “F” on the picture and hung it at the front of the classroom. Again, I was destroyed. It became my firm belief that I had no artistic ability.

I failed my 7th grade art class – well, I got a D. I’d never had a D before and I decided I hated art. I avoided doing art, avoided drawing, painting, working with clay – whatever. I was convinced that art equalled torture. Now – it’s not as if I was ever going to be Monet or Gentileschi, but there is a certain satisfaction in being able to convey one’s ideas in a visual form.  But not for me.  I convinced myself that and sort of visual art was tantamount to evil.  I developed other means of visual expression – such as needlework.  I can crochet a baby sweater in a weekend.  I can knit one in a week.  I can knit on needles that are no more thick than big paper clips.  I can crochet with thread used for sewing machines.  But it isn’t the same thing.  Deep down, I really wanted to draw.

When I was a sophomore in college, I took a class called “Creative Expression” – it was a Liberal Arts credit, and it sounded fun. It incorporated dance, drama, acting, sculpting, and creative problem solving into one full-credit class! During one class session, we were told to doodle while we listened to the lecture.  Our assignment was then to take that doodle and transform it into a visual representation of some sort.  I hadn’t drawn or doodled in nearly six years, and it was a scary thing to do. I didn’t like the drawing part, and I certainly didn’t like the part where I had to make that drawing into something visual.  But I did it, and it was liberating!  I began to doodle a lot.  Doodling became something I was quite comfortable with, and I use it to sketch out stories all the time.  These are not artistic drawings by any stretch of the imagination – but they are at least not akin to chicken scratch.

Recently, boundaries of my dislike of art were pushed once more.  One of my girlfriends convinced a group of us to join in a “Groupon” excursion to go up to Park City and take an hour and a half lesson in water colors.  “We can bring our own wine,” she said, and I figured that – if nothing else – I could enjoy enough wine to make the painting part not matter.  We did a simple mosaic style of painting, and despite my sheer anxiety at the activity (I literally was shaking when I put on my painting apron), I wound up not only enjoying myself, but producing a fairly good-sized painting.  Okay – it’s not going to hang on a wall anywhere, and I absolutely wouldn’t call it good, but it was a milestone of sorts for me.  I painted.  Mr. Sharp would be rolling in his grave to know he didn’t defeat me (I’m sure he would have liked the idea that he had – he was a nasty spirited human).  And though more than one person I know will undoubtedly criticize the results of my efforts, I am awfully damned proud of the fact that I had the fortitude to pick up a brush and silence the critics in my head.

Often in writing, the internal critics take their stabs at us and try to tell us what we should and shouldn’t write.  Many would-be writers cave in to those voices and allow their work to be guided by what other people (real or imagined) tell them to do.  All art is an act of courage.  Writing, painting, sculpting . . . whatever . . . requires an investment of the soul of the person producing it, and an iron will to do so according to the artist’s personal integrity and not the praise or criticism of others.  Sure, making an ugly oil painting isn’t much, but it was a start for me.  I don’t aspire to have my paintings hung in a gallery somewhere. What I did was to rid my head of one more phantom voice that told me “You can’t.” Pushing the limits of my own beliefs and abilities opens the door for further creative exploration.  Six months ago – or even six weeks ago – oil painting was behind a door labeled “Do Not Enter.” Thanks to my girlfriends, it now lays behind a door labeled “Let’s Do That Again!”