This is what I did this weekend. Click on the picture for a close-up view! Actually, I did a lot of things this weekend. My husband and I took my mom and step-dad to Mesquite, Nevada. We own a time-share there, and for my step-dad’s birthday, we stayed at the condo, played golf in St. George, had a fabulous dinner, and did a little gambling. But it’s a 4 1/2 hour drive to Mesquite from our house, and I have a hard time sitting still, doing nothing, for that much time. So I grabbed a ball of size 10 thread and a size 10 crochet hook (very small, but not the smallest I’ve used), and found a pattern I liked in one of the dozens (my husband would argue “hundreds”) of crochet and knitting books I have, and we were on our way.
The lace is currently about 12 inches long, I just couldn’t fit it all on my scanner. Each fan shape is about 2 1/2 inches wide, and a repetition of one fan takes about ninety minutes of work. When it’s long enough, I will weave a ribbon through the top portion (where all the vertical lines are) and sew it to the bottom of a sweater that I have. I haven’t taken time to crochet or knit in quite some time, and it felt good to reconnect with that part of me that is so intricately connected to who I am. It may seem odd, but crochet represents my past. It is a connection to my grandmother, and my great-grandmother. It is how I have consoled myself at times, and one of the few artistic outlets that I have.
Another nice thing about crochet, for me at least, is that I can carry on a conversation while I’m doing it. I had a lot of time to talk with my husband, and we talked about all kinds of things both important and mundane. We discussed the pending adoption of my son and how we would handle the potential responses of his biological mother. We talked at length about the health of my husband’s father, and what we may have to face with his mother. We talked about our upcoming family trip to Mexico, and the activities we would like to share with our children, such as visiting the Mayan ruins of Tulum and Coba, or renting jet skis and going out on the ocean.
We talked about our relationship, and how we have grown closer over the years, and what we are going to do to maintain that closeness in the coming years. This April will be our 14th anniversary. We are formulating big plans for our 15th anniversary, which includes the possibility of going to Las Vegas and renewing our vows. We talked about doing that in Yellowstone or in San Francisco too, two of our favorite places on the planet.
We talked about our oldest daughter and her relationship with her biological dad. He has suddenly taken a renewed interest in her, and I shared my fears about what might happen if he decides to disappear on her again as he did before for several years. She’s a tough cookie, that one, but any human can only take so much rejection. We talked about our youngest daughter and our concerns over her education. She is so very bright, and so very talented, but she has a profound learning disability that causes her to struggle. I get so frustrated with the public education system because, for all it’s amazing achievements, it hasn’t figured out yet that not all children come with the same abilities and ways of learning. Even with resource help, her reading and spelling levels are at least three grades behind (even though her vocabulary use is three grades ahead).
So much of this weekend was about the work of reconnecting. We didn’t solve all the issues we are facting, nor could we have, but we demonstrated our willingness to talk, to disagree, to work together. As the swath of lace grew longer, I grew more comfortable, more confident that we were going in the right direction on so many of the areas we had discussed. We may not make the right choices 100% of the time, but I believe that as long as we are willing to talk openly and honestly with each other, we can overcome a lot of what life throws at us.
When I finish the sweater, I’ll show you how it turned out!